


oh let's be brave, turn the light off

by dearlybewitched



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hopeful angst, Hurt/Comfort, Is that a thing, Mutual Pining, and yes ready to call this love is MY BEAUJES SONG i will die on this hill, beauregard lionett deserves the world, canon divergence - what couldve happened on the road to beau's dad's house, i guess??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:35:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22438063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearlybewitched/pseuds/dearlybewitched
Summary: Beau didn't believe she deserved nice things. Jester wanted to give her all of them.(a very small ficlet that came to be after i heard matt talking about how beau showed "flashes" of early campaign, guarded-beauregard on the way to meet her father)
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett
Kudos: 107





	oh let's be brave, turn the light off

_I'm afraid of the world_  
_Losing love in the dark_  
_Every time that I move too fast, I fall apart_  
_But I think you're the same_  
_And I know that you're scared_  
_Think too much of the end and we will never start_

_We still sleep with the light on_  
_So afraid it'll go wrong_

Beau's willingness to do anything for friends was one of Jester's favorite things about her. The fact that it meant her constantly putting her own life on the line, of course, was a big downside. But that was Beau: good, kind, loyal, selfless. In this particular case, however, watching the monk approach her asshole father's house hurt much more than any physical fight. They needed to speak to Beau's dad to get information that could help Nott, but - Jester could see what it was doing to Beau, and for a second wondered if it was worth it. If there was another way.

Most of all, she thought about how much she wanted Thoreau Lionett to pay for making Beau suffer and ever doubt herself, for not giving her the love she deserved. What scared Jester the most was that, while walking towards the house Beau grew up in, she watched her best friend get more and more closed off, showing flashes of the Beau she knew when they first met - amazing nonetheless, but lonely, hopeless, seeming to lose her colors on the asphalt they traveled on. And Jester missed the blue.

She hadn't even gotten to confess her feelings yet. She'd been scared and thought too much and missed her chance, and what if now she lost Beau for good? The thought gripped Jester's insides and threatened to choke her. No. She couldn't let that happen. She would never forgive herself if she did. Walking behind Beau and watching the intricate tattoo on her neck move as she strolled forward, looking down, always down - she could almost hear Molly's voice in her mind: _She's come so far. You've come so far._

Jester's hand reached out and circled around Beau's wrist, gently tugging her backwards. Beau turned around with a confused look.

"Jes? Are you okay?" Even in the situation she was in, Beau was always so kind and attentive, and the way she said Jester's name was so soft it made Jester want to cry. She wanted to hear it forever.

Heart threatening to burst with love and affection, Jester brought her other hand up to cup Beau's cheek and rubbed a small circle on the skin there with her thumb. Stepping closer, she felt as much as see saw Beau stiff, but her eyes remained on Jester's face, her gaze traveling down to her mouth. Beau didn't believe she deserved nice things. Jester wanted to give her all of them.

She pressed her lips softly to Beau's, something she had wanted to do for months now, and realized she could never have prepared herself enough. Because it was Beau, and that meant everything felt comfortably familiar and yet groundbreaking and exciting all at once. She felt Beau sigh and melt into her touch, kissing her back ever so gently and shyly - Jester promised herself that when they were done with all of this, and if Beau let her, she would make that a daily part of their routine, so that Beau would not have to be shy anymore. When they pulled back, Beau flushed and blushing and beautiful, Jester attempted a smile at her. She could feel her own eyes prickling with tears.

"Please don't close yourself off again, okay?" She pleaded with Beau, llightly squeezing her hand. "Don't go somewhere I can't reach you". Jester wiped a tear running down Beau's cheek with her thumb and watched as Beau closed her eyes, leaning into her touch. Jester's heart thumped heavily and quickly in her chest, as if to say: Tell her I'm hers. Tell her I'm hers. She tried to quiet it down, unsuccessfully. When she did say the words, she wanted it to happen somewhere beautiful.

She wondered if what she'd asked, for now, was enough. If Beau understood.

"Okay" Beau whispered softly. Of course she did.

Then the human and the tiefling joined hands and walked down the streets of Kamordah, joining their friends at the entrance of Beau's childhood home.


End file.
